Friday, March 25, 2005

Joe Scarborough, come on down!

Congratulations, Joe Scarborough! In the media circus surrounding the Schiavo case, I've had the chance to see a lot of news programs about it, mostly in the mad dash to try to get away from having to hear about it. I've watched some MSNBC, some FOX News, a little bit of CNN, a lot of internet stuff, and a smattering of The Daily Show. And Joe Scarborough, I'm proud to say, your coverage has been the worst of all! Well, I can't vouch for all of the nutjob bloggers out there, but I'd have to imagine that in the non-internet media, you're the worst. So congratulations!

Joe couldn't be here this morning, so I'll read a prepared (by Fargus) statement:

Thank you so much for this award. You spread misinformation and lies for years and years, and then when it finally pays off, you almost don't even know what to say.

I really tried hard to enforce that strict journalistic tenet of shutting people up who didn't agree with me. Franken tried to pull that crap, talking about some law in Texas, some baby getting murdered against the wishes of its mother, in accordance with a law signed by George W. Bush. As I reminded him, "I'm not married to the guy!" Heh, that shut him up.

But some other jackass tried to bring it up the next night! Can you believe it? So I told him that I wasn't going to let him sit on my show and read the Texas Constitution! Take that! And back to Franken for just a second, I'll be damned if I'll allow him to correct me on my own show! Facts or no, it's my show, and I can say what I want!

Last but not least, I want it to be known that I've really tried to use the last segment of my show, the opinion segment, to rally support among the community for ignoring the judiciary when we don't like what they say. Y'all thought it was just a crazy blogger's dream, but I'm working hard to make it a reality. "It's time for us to take our judiciary back," I said, and you all knew that what I really meant was that the current judiciary is illegitimate. How can we be expected to obey rulings that we don't like?

Well, Joe, I guess you've said it all. Keep up the monumentally atrocious work.